The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
