dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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