he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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