Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
