Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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