Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
