He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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