Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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