i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
