I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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