I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
