Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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