its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
