If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
