You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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