forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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