Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
