yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
