She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize