Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
