Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
