Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
