its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
