also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize