She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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