Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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