I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
