Banned from zoo.
Again?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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