yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he thought i was a dude.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
