I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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