I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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