Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
