you guys were way drunker than both of me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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