You're my little dorito
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
vagina is talking i cant
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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