my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
