is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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