i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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