Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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