hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
