I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
