I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She bit a glass in half.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
