super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
