Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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