YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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