I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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