i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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