So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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