you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i will never coherently bang her
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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