did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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