Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
