at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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