he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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