if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
