I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
