just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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