party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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