I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
