Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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