what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
