I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
